Remember the old joke about the drunk looking for a lost coin under a street light and when asked where he lost it, he points to a darkened area near a stairs. Why are you looking over here under the street light if you lost it back there, he was asked? “Because the light is better over here.”

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A colleague recently invited me to be a ‘friend’ on Facebook. He was telling me how great it would be that I could see his latest updates, videos, pictures, articles, links and the like. For someone of my generation who did not grow up with this kind of access to information it sounded pretty cool. I could know what was going on with him at any time. As I thought about it, it occurred to me that I have historically gotten this kind of information when we see each other or call each other.

The beat goes on. Our technology advancements have once again enabled us to gain access to more information and increasingly bypass relational interaction. Direct interaction used to be the primary source of information from our friends and colleagues, but email, texting, and social networking software like Facebook continue to make us information rich but relationship poor.

This disaggregation of information from the relationship is happening on a number of levels. A friend recently told me about a panel of young women talking about how online dating provided so much information prior to meeting that it is actually hard to have a meaningful conversation that is not informationally redundant. The collecting of information to match people is done by the system rather than in a relationship interaction. The process of discovering information (getting to know someone) helps build relationship. The absence of that process actually robs us of crucial relationship building. The women concluded that as a result there was greater pressure to have sex sooner, even though the relationship was immature, because so much was known about each other going in that sex was the only thing left to do.

Even in the recent credit meltdown, some observers look back to the fact that investment banks used to have an army of analysts – actual people – who spent time analyzing and then communicating about the financial state of companies and whole industries. But thanks to more software, even though the amount of data is ample if not overwhelming these days, the number of analysts that meet with companies, develop relationships and then communicate with the marketplace has declined. These trusted, informed, relational resources have declined..

Finally in the area of customer management, we see organizations continue to invest in better information that, they hope, lead to stronger, more loyal, lasting, profitable customer relationships. But information is too often seen as the most crucial resource to enhancing customer relationships. Yet so much of this information is purchased, collected, analyzed and interpreted in non-relational ways. More and more, with self-service, on-line, and non-personal and non-relational exchanges, the organization is building up customer information but actually sacrificing human interactions and relationship building. Even in face-to-face profiling of customers, the customer is most likely to experience that as a data exercise – get the form or screen filled out – rather than a relationship-building exercise. We keep coming up with new and improved ways to be data rich, but relationship poor.

The trend is undeniable and unrelenting. Our technology keeps separating the information and transaction from the interaction and the relationship. We have unprecedented information stored, analyzed, sliced and available while our customer are more estranged, distant, and unknown to us than ever before. Yet it is in the customer relationship where loyalty, commitment, and ethical behavior are most likely to thrive.

Why after all of this time are we still so focused on data rather than on relationship building? Because a whole industry and internal departments within companies have arisen to provide copious quantities of data. This group has a strong belief and vested interest in delivering ever more voluminous and cheaper information for customer management. While the use of technology to provide additional information can be of value it often seems relatively benign in addressing the real core customer challenges we face.

So why do organizations keep investing and focusing on information while neglecting to do the ‘soft’ relationship building? Same reason the drunk looked for the coin where the lighting was better rather than where he actually lost it. It is easier to improve our resources for accessing information than to actually develop the capacity to grow relationships. In military weapons, company investments and personal purchases we are too often seduced by what is new over what is needed, what is easy and available over what is demanding, and what is tangible over what is ‘soft.’ The problem is that by looking in the wrong place, it is unlikely we will find what we have lost – no matter how much ‘light’ or information we have.

(Column appeared originally in ABA Bank Marketing magazine – November 2008)

By ROBERT E. HALL

Not to be reproduced without written permission. All rights reserved. © Copyright Robert E. Hall 2008