Medicine is the art of engagement with the human condition rather than with the disease. – Dr. Bernard Lown, medical doctor and Nobel Peace Prize recipient

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My daughter had been very ill necessitating my wife spending several weeks with her in New York. When my wife visited a shop there to buy a blouse, the salesperson determined my wife was from out of town and inquired as to why she was visiting – so she very briefly shared about our daughter’s condition. When she returned back home, there in the mail was a note from the salesperson expressing her concern and hope for our daughter’s recovery. My wife was very touched by the expression of heart-felt emotion.

This emotional response by a sales person contrasted greatly to her experience in returning one of two dresses purchased for our daughter at a highly regarded local retailer. Because of her unexpected stay in New York she was five days beyond the official return date. When she explained why she had been out of town, the sales person ignored the emotional context of the circumstances and grudgingly made an exception but lectured her not to let it happen again. The scolding repulsed my wife. The salesperson managed to waive the return policy but not the judgmental response which most often offends the innocent and is ignored by the guilty.

The inability to respond to emotional cues and the human condition they reflect is a core customer management problem – which means it is an organic revenue problem. We all know the stats: customers who are “emotionally connected” purchase 47% more than those who are “satisfied.” Customers with a strong, committed relationship are 49% more likely to remain a customer and almost twice as likely to recommend a retailer to friends and family. Bain and Company found companies that are loyalty leaders grow revenue twice as fast as their competition and at a lower cost.

Retailing, banking, medicine and most any other business is the art of engaging the human condition. Yet we misuse emotional currency like it was free. Emotion is the chief differentiator between transactions and true relational connection. Yet repeatedly, we experience interactions where the cues of sadness, excitement, fear, desire for acknowledgment, urgency, and curiosity get missed. As we observe the downward march of customer trust and loyalty, the question is: Why is the emotional connection draining out of our relationships?

First, the rapid growth of technology-based transactions – efficient and convenient as they are – just naturally lower the emotional connection. Being called by name, smiley faces, reminders and the like electronically do not convey human emotion or connection. As electronic interactions and transactions continue to replace human interaction among friends, family and even providers, the emotional glue will only decrease. One of the unintended consequences is the level of emotional, human stimulus is going down. I have speculated elsewhere that the rise of reality TV with all of its faux drama and the highly charged political commentators on cable and talk radio, is in response to the emotional void created by our retreat from human interaction. This collective void only makes the emotional acumen of our frontline more important.

Second, in recent years there has been an emphasis on wringing as much emotion out of business as possible. So many of the initiatives have been how to make business processes more efficient, predictable and to remove untidy emotional interactions. They have relied on the calculations of analysts, mathematicians, engineers, consultants, and business schools to rid the business of as many human customer interactions as possible. Hard math has trumped any soft calculation of lowered emotional connection. Virtually everything we have done has unwittingly deconstructed relationships by outsourcing emotional exchange.

Third, the emphasis for our customer contact people has been on selling, removing errors, satisfaction, and productivity – things that can be measured and tied rather directly back to either revenue or cost. Connecting with customers, building a relationship over time, responding to their emotional priorities has not been a priority – with two exceptions. First, in our advertising – especially the larger organizations – we know emotion really matters, so often we try to convey messages to build a brand that makes an emotional connection.   Second, smaller community banks and credit unions are often more relationally and emotionally attuned. According to research released in July, the trust level of small community banks rose to 55% and credit unions to 63% compared to large banks where it fell to 23%. We keep telling ourselves:  it is just business – but business is intensely personal.

For the next generation of workers and customers, products of an electronic age, this emotional deficit will likely only increase.

If we are to rebuild emotional connection, we must rethink the role of our frontline.

First, we must define the role of frontline personnel as emotional “first responders.” That means seeking to identify the emotional driver in every customer interaction.  Whether it is pain, fear, anger, feeling invisible, boredom, urgency or some other emotion, in each interaction the responder must mentally look for emotion that is driving the interaction. Sometimes they will sense the emotion, sometimes they will need to ask and sometimes there will be nothing there. The goal is to incorporate an emotional component into whatever solution (product, service, etc.) that is offered. It may be as simple as authentically acknowledging their concern or a hand-written follow-up note.

Second, we must re-prioritize emotional acumen in hiring, training and rewarding frontline employees – stores, branches, call-centers, chat. It sounds so basic, yet our organizations are riddled with employees who ignore obvious emotional cues. When customers express complaint or pain, regardless who caused it, our frontline response must be relational – authentic emotion that acknowledges, apologizes, encourages, compliments or the like. Our ever more challenging quest is to find people able to engage the human condition and build a relational connection.

Professor Lewis B. Smedes’ definition of kindness captures the job description pretty well: “Love’s readiness to enhance the life of another person.”

(Column appeared originally in ABA Bank Marketing magazine – October 2012)

By ROBERT E. HALL

Not to be reproduced without written permission. All rights reserved. © Copyright Robert E. Hall 2012