State of Your Relationship Quiz

If you answer these 25 questions, you should have a general measure of the breadth and depth of your relationships for comparison and discussion. The quiz is not scientific, of course, but hopefully it will stimulate insights into the relationship underpinnings that influence your life within each domain and as a whole.

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© Copyright Robert E. Hall 2012

Quiz

For each question, mark the appropriate response(s).Your quiz will be autoscored once you complete and click the Review & Score Quiz button. Note: Most questions have a single answer (mark one) but a few ask for more than one answer per question (mark all that apply or mark each question).

General

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    The Relational State of Family, Friends, and Neighbors


  1. Lived with multiple single parents or in foster care most of the time
    Lived with a single parent or guardian the whole time
    Lived with a single parent or guardian part of the time and with both parents part of the time
    Lived predominately with both parents the whole time
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You moved one or fewer times while you were growing up.
    Parents or guardians that argued or fought habitually.

  2. No other family members present in my life
    Brother(s) or sister(s) lived with the family before they grew up
    Grandparents, uncles/aunts, cousins, or other family lived near us or were around frequently (saw them most weeks)

  3. Living alone
    Living with a friend(s) or family member(s)
    Living with a romantic partner
    Living with a partner in a married or legally/explicitly committed arrangement
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    Your partner relationship tenure exceeds three years and is a significant plus in your life
    "Separation or near-divorce" in the past three years

  4. None
    Very little – seldom see them or talk
    Quite a lot – see them fairly often and talk but are not “go to” for problems or issues
    A lot – see them often and rely on them for help with problems and support

  5. I have no children and plan to have none
    I have no children but plan to have them
    I have one or more children who no longer live with me and I communicate (in-person, phone, email, text) less than once a week with at least one of them
    I have one or more children who no longer live with me and I communicate at least once a week and share challenges and support with each
    All of my children (one or more) live with me

  6. No close friends
    One close friend
    Two close friends
    Three or more close friends

  7. None – I have no such group
    Once every year or every several years
    Several times a year
    Several times a quarter
    Several times a month

  8. I do not know any of my neighbors
    I know one to two neighbors by name
    I know three or more neighbors by name
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You have socialized with or helped/been helped by one neighbor
    You have socialized with or helped/been helped more than one neighbor
  9. Work

    The Relational State of Your World as Consumer and Colleague


  10. a. Have you been a customer for over 4 years?
    2 or less 3 or more
    b. Do they call you by name most times when you enter?
    2 or less 3 or more
    c. Do they know your preferences, buying habits, special needs or requirements?
    2 or less 3 or more
    d. Have you asked them a special favor – wait a few minutes after closing for you, pay next time, try something without paying?
    2 or less 3 or more
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You have moved one third or more of your interactions to on-line or self-service in the past three years.

  11. None
    One to two
    Three to four
    More than four
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    There has been more than one instance of a business warning you about a purchase there.

  12. I do not work for pay nor volunteer (if no – skip questions 12—15)
    I work for pay or volunteer and office at home or office/work independently interacting with colleagues in-person infrequently (three or less times a month)
    I work for pay or volunteer and office at home or office/work independently and have in-person interactions with co-workers at least weekly
    I work for pay or volunteer in an office or other setting with a group of employees or volunteers whom I see most every day
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    Your work brings you in frequent, recurring contact with a group of customers or others you serve.

  13. Temporary
    Part-time
    Contract
    Full-time

  14. Main office of large publicly-traded corporation or large federal government institution
    Main office of mid-sized or larger, privately-owned corporation, non-profit or City/State/County agency/ department
    A locally managed unit (office, branch, store, church) of a publicly-traded corporation or large federal government institution
    A locally managed unit (office, branch, store, church) of a privately-owned corporation, non-profit, or state or local government
    A smaller, locally-owned, independent small business, non-profit, church or government entity

  15. I have virtually no relationships with peers
    I have peer relationships but they are short-term or of little significance – with little knowledge of their personal lives
    I have relatively strong, stable peer relationships and have some knowledge of their personal lives
    I have long-term (over three years) working relationships with the majority of peers, and with some share information and support in our personal lives
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    The executive your unit reports to has been there over 2 years.

  16. Cold, uncaring, numbers-focused, people are expendable
    Political, internally-focused, tribal/turf-wars, hierarchical
    Business-like, professional, ethical, results-driven
    Family-like, close, caring, and at times, emotional
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    Your relationship with your boss is a net plus for your working there (if self-employed, that boss is you).
  17. Politics

    The Relational State of Your Politics


  18. I have little interest in politics
    I have strong political interests and beliefs and often feel animosity between myself and the other side. It is hard for me to see much virtue in the other side
    I have strong political interests and beliefs and while I see some virtue in the other side I feel frustrated by some of the extreme positions on either side
    I have a significant interest in politics and while I have strong opinions, I enjoy examining all sides without feeling animosity

  19. Little interest, infrequent discussion, no fervor
    Interested in politics but avoid discussions as the differences are so upsetting and divisive
    Fairly frequent discussion, often contentious – can put relationships at risk
    Fair amount of interest and discussion but not emotionally charged
    Frequent and engaged political discussions that are mostly civil and respectful

  20. a. I have personally felt disrespected by others toward my political views leading me to say things and act in a way that was hurtful.
    Yes No
    b. I limit talk of politics primarily to those with whom I know I agree
    Yes No
    c. I have tried to steer conversation in social settings away from politics to avoid potential conflict.
    Yes No
    d. Have experienced diminished or lost relationships with family, friends or colleagues over political disagreements.
    Yes No

  21. a. Has decreased to the point I have become less active in voting, reading and discussing.
    Yes No
    b. I have left or considered leaving a political party or a social group over concern of how extreme and destructive was their partisanship.
    Yes No
    c. I have found myself wishing for negative outcomes (scandal, incompetence, failure) toward political leaders I oppose.
    Yes No
    d. My political media sources (news and commentators) primarily lean in one direction (liberal or conservative).
    Yes No

  22. I almost always value actions to support my position (over supporting compromise) which may alienate those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions to support my position (over supporting compromise) which may alienate those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions to support compromise (over my position) in order to reduce relational strife
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You have been complimented more than once for holding strong beliefs while finding compromise and conveying respect for others.
  23. Faith

    The Relational State of Faith and Belief


  24. I have little interest
    I have significant interest and at times feel demeaned and by those on the other side
    I have significant interest but find myself frustrated toward those whose opinions are oppositional to mine
    I have significant interest and while I have strong opinions, I enjoy examining all sides without feeling animosity

  25. Infrequent discussion, little interest or fervor
    Interested, but avoid discussions because the differences are so upsetting and divisive
    Fairly frequent discussion that are often contentious – can put relationships at risk
    Fair amount of interest and discussion, but not emotionally charged
    Frequent and engaged discussions that are mostly civil and respectful

  26. a. I have personally felt disrespected by others toward my views leading me to say things and act in a way that was hurtful.
    Yes No
    b. I have limited talk primarily to those with whom I know I agree.
    Yes No
    c. I have wished to or even steered conversation in social settings away from the topic over concern of relational impact.
    Yes No
    d. I experienced diminished or lost relationships with family, friends or colleagues over disagreements.
    Yes No

  27. a. Has decreased to the point I have become less active in participating, reading and discussing.
    Yes No
    b. I have left or considered leaving a religious or a social group over concern of how extreme and destructive was their views.
    Yes No
    c. I have found myself wishing for negative outcomes (scandal, incompetence, failure) toward leaders I oppose.
    Yes No
    d. My information sources primarily lean in one direction (liberal, conservative, secular).
    Yes No

  28. I almost always value actions to support my position over compromise, even when those actions alienate and separate us from those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions that support my position over compromise, even when those actions alienate and separate us from those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions that support compromise over my position in order to reduce relational strife
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You have been complimented more than once for holding strong beliefs while finding compromise and conveying respect for others.

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This Land of Strangers - Robert E Hall

This Land of Strangers

"..the most important book of the decade." — Richard Boyatzis, co-author of best seller Primal Leadership

Relationships, in all their varied forms, have been the lifetime study of Robert Hall. He brings a rare combination of experience as a researcher, consultant, writer, teacher and CEO in dealing with the real-world relationship challenges of modern organizations. When coupled with a decade of hands-on experience in the gritty world of inner-city homeless families it translates into a tapestry of vivid stories, well-researched and oft startling facts, and strategic insights that weave together the yet untold narrative of society's gravest risk and most stellar opportunity.