State of Your Relationship Quiz

If you answer these 25 questions, you should have a general measure of the breadth and depth of your relationships for comparison and discussion. The quiz is not scientific, of course, but hopefully it will stimulate insights into the relationship underpinnings that influence your life within each domain and as a whole.

Not to be reproduced without written permission. All rights reserved.
© Copyright Robert E. Hall 2012

Quiz

For each question, mark the appropriate response(s).Your quiz will be autoscored once you complete and click the Review & Score Quiz button. Note: Most questions have a single answer (mark one) but a few ask for more than one answer per question (mark all that apply or mark each question).

General

Age: Sex: Male Female

Home

The Relational State of Family, Friends, and Neighbors

1. When you were growing up, which item best describes your parental situation (mark one):
   Lived with multiple single parents or in foster care most of the time
   Lived with a single parent or guardian the whole time
   Lived with a single parent or guardian part of the time and with both parents part of the time
   Lived predominately with both parents the whole time
   Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
   You moved one or fewer times while you were growing up.
   Parents or guardians that argued or fought habitually.
   
2. Growing up, to what extent did you have family members other than parents/guardians as an on-going part of your life (mark all that apply):
   No other family members present in my life
   Brother(s) or sister(s) lived with the family before they grew up
   Grandparents, uncles/aunts, cousins, or other family lived near us or were around frequently (saw them most weeks)
   
3. What best describes your current situation regarding living partners (mark one):
   Living alone
   Living with a friend(s) or family member(s)
   Living with a romantic partner
   Living with a partner in a married or legally/explicitly committed arrangement
   Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
   Your partner relationship tenure exceeds three years and is a significant plus in your life
   "Separation or near-divorce" in the past three years
4. Today how significant is the role parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and other family members play in your life (mark one):
   None
   Very little – seldom see them or talk
   Quite a lot – see them fairly often and talk but are not “go to” for problems or issues
   A lot – see them often and rely on them for help with problems and support
   
5. Which best describes your relationship with your children (mark one):
   I have no children and plan to have none
   I have no children but plan to have them
   I have one or more children who no longer live with me and I communicate (in-person, phone, email, text) less than once a week with at least one of them
   I have one or more children who no longer live with me and I communicate at least once a week and share challenges and support with each
   All of my children (one or more) live with me
   
6. How many close friends do you have outside of family (someone you have shared a private problem or admission) (mark one):
   No close friends
   One close friend
   Two close friends
   Three or more close friends
   
7. I have a group of good friends who meet (mark one):
   None – I have no such group
   Once every year or every several years
   Several times a year
   Several times a quarter
   Several times a month
   
8. Where you currently live or have most recently lived for the longest period, which best describes you (mark one):
   I do not know any of my neighbors
   I know one to two neighbors by name
   I know three or more neighbors by name
   Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
   You have socialized with or helped/been helped by one neighbor
   You have socialized with or helped/been helped more than one neighbor
   

Work

The Relational State of Your World as Consumer and Colleague

9. In how many places where you shop or are served – restaurants, grocers, banks, dry cleaners, hair salon/ barber, car repair, book stores, etc.: (mark each question):
   a. Have you been a customer for over 4 years?
   2 or less 3 or more
   b. Do they call you by name most times when you enter?
   2 or less 3 or more
   c. Do they know your preferences, buying habits, special needs or requirements?
   2 or less 3 or more
   d. Have you asked them a special favor – wait a few minutes after closing for you, pay next time, try something without paying?
   2 or less 3 or more
   Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
   You have moved one third or more of your interactions to on-line or self-service in the past three years.
10. How many places where you transact business are you confident they would warn you about buying something not in your best interest (mark one)?
    None
    One to two
    Three to four
    More than four
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    There has been more than one instance of a business warning you about a purchase there.
    
11. Which best describes your relationship with fellow workers or volunteers (mark one):
    I do not work for pay nor volunteer (if no – skip questions 12—15)
    I work for pay or volunteer and office at home or office/work independently interacting with colleagues in-person infrequently (three or less times a month)
    I work for pay or volunteer and office at home or office/work independently and have in-person interactions with co-workers at least weekly
    I work for pay or volunteer in an office or other setting with a group of employees or volunteers whom I see most every day
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    Your work brings you in frequent, recurring contact with a group of customers or others you serve.
    
12. At the primary place you work/volunteer, your arrangement can be described as (mark one):
    Temporary
    Part-time
    Contract
    Full-time
    
13. Which statement best describes the primary place where you work/volunteer (mark one):
    Main office of large publicly-traded corporation or large federal government institution
    Main office of mid-sized or larger, privately-owned corporation, non-profit or City/State/County agency/ department
    A locally managed unit (office, branch, store, church) of a publicly-traded corporation or large federal government institution
    A locally managed unit (office, branch, store, church) of a privately-owned corporation, non-profit, or state or local government
    A smaller, locally-owned, independent small business, non-profit, church or government entity
    
14. At your primary place of work/volunteering, which statement best describes your circumstances (mark one):
    I have virtually no relationships with peers
    I have peer relationships but they are short-term or of little significance – with little knowledge of their personal lives
    I have relatively strong, stable peer relationships and have some knowledge of their personal lives
    I have long-term (over three years) working relationships with the majority of peers, and with some share information and support in our personal lives
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    The executive your unit reports to has been there over 2 years.
    
15. At the primary place I work/volunteer the culture can be described as (mark one):
    Cold, uncaring, numbers-focused, people are expendable
    Political, internally-focused, tribal/turf-wars, hierarchical
    Business-like, professional, ethical, results-driven
    Family-like, close, caring, and at times, emotional
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    Your relationship with your boss is a net plus for your working there (if self-employed, that boss is you).
    

Politics

The Relational State of Your Politics

16. Which statement best describes your thoughts and feelings about politics (mark one):
    I have little interest in politics
    I have strong political interests and beliefs and often feel animosity between myself and the other side. It is hard for me to see much virtue in the other side
    I have strong political interests and beliefs and while I see some virtue in the other side I feel frustrated by some of the extreme positions on either side
    I have a significant interest in politics and while I have strong opinions, I enjoy examining all sides without feeling animosity
    
17. Which answer best describes your political discussion with family and friends (mark one):
    Little interest, infrequent discussion, no fervor
    Interested in politics but avoid discussions as the differences are so upsetting and divisive
    Fairly frequent discussion, often contentious – can put relationships at risk
    Fair amount of interest and discussion but not emotionally charged
    Frequent and engaged political discussions that are mostly civil and respectful
    
18. Over the last few years, as the result of political discussions (answer each question yes or no):
    a. I have personally felt disrespected by others toward my political views leading me to say things and act in a way that was hurtful.
    Yes No
    b. I limit talk of politics primarily to those with whom I know I agree
    Yes No
    c. I have tried to steer conversation in social settings away from politics to avoid potential conflict.
    Yes No
    d. Have experienced diminished or lost relationships with family, friends or colleagues over political disagreements.
    Yes No
    
19. My connection to politics and political leaders (answer each question yes or no):
    a. Has decreased to the point I have become less active in voting, reading and discussing.
    Yes No
    b. I have left or considered leaving a political party or a social group over concern of how extreme and destructive was their partisanship.
    Yes No
    c. I have found myself wishing for negative outcomes (scandal, incompetence, failure) toward political leaders I oppose.
    Yes No
    d. My political media sources (news and commentators) primarily lean in one direction (liberal or conservative).
    Yes No
    
20. In the tradeoff between sticking to my political beliefs vs. compromise, in settings with groups who have different views, which statement best describes you (mark one):
    I almost always value actions to support my position (over supporting compromise) which may alienate those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions to support my position (over supporting compromise) which may alienate those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions to support compromise (over my position) in order to reduce relational strife
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You have been complimented more than once for holding strong beliefs while finding compromise and conveying respect for others.
    

Faith

The Relational State of Faith and Belief

21. Which statement best describes your thoughts and feelings about religious faith and/or secular belief (mark one):
    I have little interest
    I have significant interest and at times feel demeaned and by those on the other side
    I have significant interest but find myself frustrated toward those whose opinions are oppositional to mine
    I have significant interest and while I have strong opinions, I enjoy examining all sides without feeling animosity
    
22. Which answer best describes your discussion of religious faith and/or secular belief with family and friends (mark one):
    Infrequent discussion, little interest or fervor
    Interested, but avoid discussions because the differences are so upsetting and divisive
    Fairly frequent discussion that are often contentious – can put relationships at risk
    Fair amount of interest and discussion, but not emotionally charged
    Frequent and engaged discussions that are mostly civil and respectful
    
23. Over the last few years, as the result of discussions on religious faith and/or secular belief (answer each question yes or no):
    a. I have personally felt disrespected by others toward my views leading me to say things and act in a way that was hurtful.
    Yes No
    b. I have limited talk primarily to those with whom I know I agree.
    Yes No
    c. I have wished to or even steered conversation in social settings away from the topic over concern of relational impact.
    Yes No
    d. I experienced diminished or lost relationships with family, friends or colleagues over disagreements.
    Yes No
    
24. My connection to and confidence in religious faith and/or secular belief and their leaders as a force for love, healing and reconciliation in recent years (answer each question yes or no):
    a. Has decreased to the point I have become less active in participating, reading and discussing.
    Yes No
    b. I have left or considered leaving a religious or a social group over concern of how extreme and destructive was their views.
    Yes No
    c. I have found myself wishing for negative outcomes (scandal, incompetence, failure) toward leaders I oppose.
    Yes No
    d. My information sources primarily lean in one direction (liberal, conservative, secular).
    Yes No
    
25. In the tradeoff between sticking to my religious or secular beliefs vs. compromise, in settings with those who have different views, which statement best describes you (mark one):
    I almost always value actions to support my position over compromise, even when those actions alienate and separate us from those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions that support my position over compromise, even when those actions alienate and separate us from those on the other side
    Most of the time I value actions that support compromise over my position in order to reduce relational strife
    Additional Consideration (mark if yes):
    You have been complimented more than once for holding strong beliefs while finding compromise and conveying respect for others.
    

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