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This Land of Strangers - Robert E Hall

This Land of Strangers

"..the most important book of the decade." — Richard Boyatzis, co-author of best seller Primal Leadership

Relationships, in all their varied forms, have been the lifetime study of Robert Hall. He brings a rare combination of experience as a researcher, consultant, writer, teacher and CEO in dealing with the real-world relationship challenges of modern organizations. When coupled with a decade of hands-on experience in the gritty world of inner-city homeless families it translates into a tapestry of vivid stories, well-researched and oft startling facts, and strategic insights that weave together the yet untold narrative of society's gravest risk and most stellar opportunity.

Soft Skills, Dog Love and Front Porches

“Nearly 20% of employers cited a lack of soft skills as a key reason they couldn’t hire needed employees. Interpersonal skills and enthusiasm/motivation were commonly found lacking”  – USA Today quoting Manpower Group’s 2012 Talent Shortage Survey

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It is tragic that in this era of painfully high unemployment, employers are struggling to find the basic skills needed to answer phones effectively and converse with customers. The need for stronger math and science skills in today’s highly sophisticated world is much publicized, but truth be known, there is also a real shortage of human relationship skills. While businesses struggle to create stronger customer relationships and loyalty, the most important raw material for relationship building – the skills and commitment of frontline workers – is alarmingly low.

The Society for Human Resource Management and the AARP found more than half of companies surveyed reported that simple grammar and spelling — de riguer for older workers – were often not present among younger workers. They found a similar gap in professionalism and work ethic between the two age groups.  This is particularly disturbing given the impact in-person customer experiences have such on customer retention and ultimately the brand.

This loss of soft skills, especially in face-to-face interaction is not new news. It fits part of a larger narrative of the relationship decline at home, work, in our political discourse and in faith. If marriage were a consumer product, its 50 percent loss of market share over the past 50 years would match that of the General Motors. Customer defection rates jumped 30 percent in recent years. Likewise relational flight from political parties doubled in the past 50 years as has the exit from religious affiliation over the past two decades.

It is truly ironic that at a time when we are able to communicate massively, instantly, and cheaply our relationships are going to the dogs. There are many reasons: technology is often used to escape rather than engage relationships, rise in self-focus leaves less space for others and the rise continues of huge organizations that are more institutional and impersonal.

Yet, there are signs of relational life out there that show we are grappling with our loss and finding innovative ways to get back to the future – a relationship future. Let’s look at a couple of unlikely but instructive examples.

First, we are continuing to see new approaches to relationship management. PetSmart Inc, the largest U.S. pet-retailer recently reported its tenth consecutive quarter of double-digit profit growth and has opened 1,000 stores since 2007. Their CEO Bob Moran in a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal stated that they treat family dogs as family members. He pointed out that while competitors focus on products, PetSmart is profiting by treating pet owners as pet parents. They have broadened their store offerings from just pet supply, to pet services such as Doggie Day Camps and hotels for pets – an upgrade from traditional kennels. He concludes there’s a close correlation between human and pet trends. In essence, they have humanized the relationship of owners to pets, to be more like parents to children. “We don’t say, ‘How can I help you?’ We say, ‘Tell me about your pet.’”  They are leading with a relationship question over a product or service question.

A second unlikely place to look for promising approaches to relationship building in the 21st century is home construction. Our desire to find a physical place that promotes strong relationships and tighter communities is showing up in the design of homes. Front porches are making a big comeback.  USA Today reports two-thirds of homes built in 2011 had a porch, a trend that has been rising steadily in the past 10 years. Homes with front or rear porches have increased from 42 percent in 1992 to 65 percent in 2011 according to Census data. After years of investing in things that shut the neighbors out – closed windows for air conditioning, electronic garage openers, closed blinds for watching TV, loss of sidewalks, back alley garages, travel by car rather than walking – buyers are looking for a place to socialize.

Starbucks provided “a third place” – beyond home and work – and now we are returning home for a social place. Homes built without a garage carport have risen from eight percent in 2004 to 13 percent in 2011. The conclusion is that Americans want to live in small houses and dense neighborhoods that promote walking and social interaction.

The marketplace is looking for a way to find more connection. It means business and other organizations need employees that can live out the values of relationships. A recent BAI survey asked financial institutions of all sizes to identify the phrase that best described the business culture they most wanted to display in the future: 55 percent said “relationship focused.” Yet recent polling indicates that trust of bankers continues to go down in each successive poll. It seems unlikely that they can live up to this vision of relationship with employees who are less skilled and committed to social interaction.

Reclaiming relationship as our highest societal value starts with small steps. I have three thoughts.

First, we must be as interested in customers as PetSmart is in dogs. Who knew a pet-supplier could teach us about human relationships?

Second, we must look for places in our lives where we need a metaphorical front porch. Places at home, work and in our political lives where others, even the opposition, can stop by to visit and share a cold glass of lemonade.

Third, if we are to become a society of stronger relationships, it means greater emphasis on the soft stuff for our children and others whom we lead – less time on the devices, more time engaged with those around us, and more emphasis on learning to engage others.

It is not rocket science – it is relationship art and science.  It is what dogs know and porches stand for that we must learn.

 

(Column appeared originally in ABA Bank Marketing magazine – November 2012)

By ROBERT E. HALL

Not to be reproduced without written permission. All rights reserved. © Copyright Robert E. Hall 2012


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